04.27.07
Yankees Promotions
With the slumping 8-12 Yankees mired in last place in the AL East, perhaps their marketing department could use some ideas for promotions to put fannies in the seats this weekend? What about…
Kei Igawa Bag Night — Ashamed to show your face at the Stadium? All fans receive this handy accessory with pre-cut eye holes to avoid stepping on shattered dreams while fleeing the carnage. As modeled by Joe Torre in the dugout last week! Sponsored by Payless Shoes.
Bruised Buttocks Awareness Night — The Yankees Foundation will donate $39.95 million for research to address this serious health concern. Fans in attendance will receive a commemorative doll of Carl Pavano. (No warranty implied.) Sponsored by Wedgwood China.
Memorial to the 2004 Yankees — Twenty-five lucky Yankees fans will receive replica diamond chokers identical to those worn by the hometown nine in the ALCS. Red Sox fans in attendance will receive rings. Sponsored by Tiffany & Co.
Baseball Giveaway Night — In the top of the third inning, four lucky fans in the outfield bleachers will receive Official Rawlings MLB Baseballs, delivered by your very own Yankees pitchers. Sponsored by DHL Worldwide Express.
Yankees World Series Night — Fans will receive a commemorative photo journal of the 26 championship teams, preserved in the original black and white. Sponsored by the History Channel in cooperation with Twentieth-Century Fox.
Joe said,
April 27, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Don’t forget the Waiver Wire Tryouts where three fans at random will be pulled out of the stands and put into Yankee uniforms prior to the game, so they can appear in relief of a struggling Yankee starter. Anyone who strikes out David Ortiz is given a guaranteed Major League contract for the league minimum, prorated for the remained of the season. Sponsored by Yes and Fox television, who encourage you to watch blah blah blah
Valentine said,
April 27, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Or…
Jason Giambi Juice Night — “Is it in you?” Sponsored by Gatorade and the New York Syringe Exchange.
Pontifex said,
April 27, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Free quart o’ chowder (95 North variety) for anyone still in the stands after the 6th. Looking at the Ruth House, there are many places for a posterior to take a rest.
Sean said,
May 9, 2007 at 12:08 am
The place needs a Disco Demolition night